I do this every so often. I’ll see new photographs of myself and not hate them. I’ll see old pictures of myself and instantly notice the deep pain revealed through my eyes.
And my heart breaks. There is an intimate bond between the woman I am today and that girl in the pictures. Sometimes I speak to her, plead with her to pause. Many days I grieve with and for her. And every day I live to prove to her that she will one day be victorious. That girl was broken, tortured, confused, desperate, isolated, rejected, afraid. She desired death over daylight. She would rather break her own bones than face more taunting from the demons in her mind. She cried to drown out the terrors in her ears. Sometimes in my dreams, I relive those moments. I’ll see through her eyes again and weep. I’ll feel the heavy heart. I’ll experience the tightened lungs and shaky limbs. I’ll feel the tangible covering of darkness and despair.
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AuthorI'm a college student with a passion to empower women, spread the love of Christ, and speak truth into the darkness. I also really like cats and Taylor Swift. Archives
October 2018
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